Courage = being prepared!

 Courage is being afraid but doing it anyway. 

All my life I have been afraid. I have been afraid of not getting an A, of people not liking me, of pissing my parents off, of getting hurt by "Tom, Dick, or Harry", and the list goes on. I am always afraid. 

If you know me, or at least, think that you know me, you would call me brave. You would think I was fierce, a go-getter, can tackle anything - hence the nickname "Moxie". That is not true. I am always afraid, I just do it anyways. 

As I have gotten older, I have learned to hide my true feelings. I push through. On every thru-hike I have done alone (over 2000 miles alone), I lost an substantial amount of weight. It was not because I was working so hard, walking so much. That was some of it, but most of it was because I was not eating, I was not sleeping, and I was walking a ridiculous amount of miles each day! 

Fast forward to now - like right now (besides me typing this)! 

I decided to take fear in my own hands. 

I wish I had done this sooner.

I wish instead of being told "be safe", "do you carry", "are you going by yourself" - I wish I had been offered some pointers for being safe, taught how to safely and efficiently carry a weapon - there is more to it than just having it next to you -, and do you have any personal defense skills/practice/protection. I had none of those things. At this moment, can't say say I have all of them, but I do have enough mindset and self awareness to start getting those things and that is why I am writing this - maybe it wasnt why I started writing this - but it why I am now writing this - 

1. Be Safe
What does that even mean?!! It usually makes me play every worse case scenario in my head! I am going to sum it up with 3 words BE SITUATIONALLY AWARE you could say it different HAVE SITUATIONAL AWARENESS or PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS. They all mean the same thing - and blatantly/obviously saying that means more to me, the person that takes everything for as it is, than trying to read between the lines. There is more to it though! WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR AND WHAT DO IT DO!

2. This actually goes into the self defense skills and practice thought.
SELF DEFENSE - with your words and your body! 
Before anything happens, you pay attention to your surroundings, then if shit hits the fan, you react with self defense. More on this later (and why I really started typing away).

3. Do you carry?
One, noone needs to know if you carry or not, ESPECIALLY if they are STRANGER! - there is a lot of controvery on this, but if you don't know the person, they do not need to know unless they are threat and it is the only option. And if you carry, don't think you are safe if its in your glove compartment or tucked away under your seat or in your tent when you are their peeing in the middle of the night (I am think tent camping here) - you need to have direct access to it and you need to know how to use it. Practice your draw, practice loading/unloading, practice shooting, and know the repercussions of if you do shoot. This is not my speciality. I am not at this stage in my defense training, but if you are going to carry, know how to use your weapon and train for it! 


I am working on steps 1 and 2 and I already feel so much safer going out into the world - and why I wrote this little note - more to come shortly!